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It is that time of the year, for sure. The time to recap the days gone by in the year, and look forward to the next.

To be honest, I haven’t been inspired to write about anything since CCC. Unlike training and racing, writing (and producing content) has its own set of challenges and intricacies. Since I first started blogging in 2003, I found writing to be the best outlet for an introvert like myself to communicate. Though not a great/good writer, it’s still the best form of expression and creativity for me.

However, the spark to write usually comes at odd hours, which often times is just before I head to bed. By then, I would prefer to just sleep to recover from a day in the office and training after that. So if you’re reading this, mind you that it has taken some weeks to pen my thoughts down

2017 was by far the most productive year of running I’ve had. I completed two races I had DNFed the year before, ran my fastest 100km race, and ran my best marathon (from a performance standpoint). I won’t explain so much about it; you can read the individual post’s that I’ve written here on my site. But undoubtedly, there was a heavy focus on training this year. Lots of time spent training on the track, stairs, road and trail.

But it has been a struggle at times; a five-day training schedule is quite strenuous for a working adult. There are days when you have just so much work to do, and yet you think about the training session that’s coming up later in the evening. It can also be difficult when you have other responsibilities in life outside of just running. Having said that, it was my choice to endure a five-day training schedule, for I want to be the best trail runner I can possibly be. At the end of the day, I still look forward to training, as it’s my escape from the reality of the working life.

There are of course many people who have been part of my journey this year, whether directly or indirectly. My mom for example, for just being there, Coach Andy‘s guidance through training, Physio Reggie for his magic hands, my sponsors WAA and Nuke Optics, and of course, my close friends (both running and not) and the community itself. There’s probably too many to list down, but rest assure, if you are reading this, you would have played a role in my year.

Besides racing, another high point of the year was the UTMB sharing session with Paviter. I would never have imagined to share my race experience in a more formalized setting, but I pitched the idea anyhow. It was the first time the both of us came forward to share our running experiences. And the turnout was quite awesome as well, with about 60 people or so attending.

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Outside of running though, I’ve achieved nothing for the year. Not that there’s anything to achieve. But, well, nothing prominent happened. 2017 was the year where I saw a few of my close friends getting married. I’m especially happy for both, especially having seen them progress through life and finally someone to settle down with.

As I writing this post, I began to think about, my personal life; the one outside running. It’s ironic because, running has always been an escape; both figuratively and metaphorically. But as much as I would like to think that running is my life; it really isn’t. There are other things that I’d like to do and people but I’d like to be with. Some things are of course, beyond my control and will. I was quite devastated by something I found out just recently. So… I don’t know. I’ll go self implode now I guess.

See you in 2018.

2015 has been a shitty year. Physically, I’ve been hampered by a injury that refuses to go away. And mentally, I’ve just been down in the dumps. It wasn’t until I started compiling the events for this write up that I realized there I’ve actually done a lot this year, but somehow these moments slipped my mind, thanks to one individual.

But where do I begin?

A forgotten start

When I first wrote this post, I kept thinking that my year started in April. I left my job around the second half of 2014 and I only resumed working again in April this year. I had almost forgotten that I took part in the first Runners Convention in February and got to meet some inspirational trail runners, as well as friends from abroad. More of that here.

A lesson in despair

In 2014, I made the decision to run my first 100 km race, after having done okay in the Translantau 50. I balloted for the 2015 Hong Kong 100, but was unsuccessful. Reluctantly, I signed up for the Translantau 100. The elevation profile alone scared the crap out of me.

I trained the best I could till March, but in hindsight wasn’t enough (or maybe I’m not good enough). I suffered miserably for the race with 2 sleepless nights, hallucinations, tired legs, over-packed gear, unused nutrition, among other things. I finished the race as the second last male runner just 30 mins before the cut-off time. That race has left an indelible mark in me every time I think about doing another event.

With a fellow Singaporean runner, Clarabelle, who ran/hike/crawled together with me till the end!

Hanging on by a thread

During a regular training run at Kent Ridge Park a couple of weeks after Translantau, I experienced a strain on my left leg while running up some slopes. I figured it would go away with a bit of rest and recovery, but it somehow didn’t till now. If you had met me during The Great Relay earlier in the year, you would have seen me running with a kinesio tape on my leg, which indicated that I was running in spite of the discomfort.

As of now the strain has felt slightly better. Well, a bit more with the help of a couple of sports massage sessions, strength training, foam rolling and icing. But it hasn’t gone away. Not really sure what to do…

Photo by Second Wind Magazine

Second chances

In 2014 I missed out the chance to meet Anna Frost on an invitation from Salomon/World of Sports. Fast forward a year later in September, I got word that she would be in Singapore for just a few hours in transit, so I took an urgent leave to meet her. It was wonderful to have been able to chat with a respected and inspirational figure in the sport (of ultra running).

The slog

Later in the year I signed up and ran the 50 km category of The North Face 100 Singapore. The last time I took part in the race was in the 25km category way back in 2012. The race was a slog; probably the most painful race I’ve ever done (which explains why I never wrote a race review). I ran well for 20 km before agonizing cramps set in, with the heat of the day not helping at all. But I found brief respite when a friend stationed as a medic there helped to sort out my leg the best he could, before setting me on my way. I felt the burn from that race for a couple of days.

Photo by Run Shoot Repeat

But I got to meet and interview a few more elite athletes, so I guess it turned out alright.

Left to right: Vlad Ixel, Wyan Chow, myself, Tsuyoshi Kaburaki

Relapse

In early November, I relapsed back into depression. I was frustrated at myself over someone and snapped, deactivating Facebook in the process. It had been a very long time since I’ve been in such a poor state of mind. Peers and friends who noticed my disappearance texted me their concerns, but for the most part, I think no one noticed. But by the end of 2 weeks, I lost my appetite to be totally disconnected. And so I pulled myself together, put on a straight face and get along with the reality of things. However, one can’t move along from a depressive episode without being affected by it in some way or another. This feeling would linger on for months to come.

The last race

I successfully balloted for the 2016 Hong Kong 100 (HK100) and the feeling was akin to winning the lottery. It was great to know that Andy and Ian was successful in the ballot and will be with me on this trip. Beyond Hong Kong 100, I have no other running plans for the rest year, aside of taking part in the Terry Fox Run.

I made the controversial announcement that I will leave running. Well it’s partly true; I will leave running maybe for a month or two to sort my leg out and work on other things. It will be difficult to get running out of my system, as I’ve been doing it for almost half a decade now. But time away from the pavement and trails might do me some good. I have something planned tho I can’t say if it will happen at this point of time.

Photo from the UTWT Website.

Being thankful

2015 wasn’t a great year for me. Yes I ran my first 100 km race and what not, but injuries and being depressed took the joy out everything. I don’t think I’ll have much fond memories of 2015. But there’s still plenty to be thankful for; learning about despair during an ultra-marathon, talking to more elite runners, figuring out whether I was important to people, wondering why I’m still injured, why I’m such an average runner, among other things.

Before I end this post, I’d like to give a special mention and shout out to the following groups of people:

• Nuke Optics and Simple Hydration for allowing me to be their brand ambassador and supporting me in my endeavors.
• The very, very small group of people whom I communicate with regularly (you know who you are).
• The people whom I text but usually get a delayed or non-existent reply, umm, thanks. Guess there’s a reason for everything. A reply would be great though.
• And of course, fellow peers and acquaintances of the trail and ultra running world. Nothing inspires me more than watching you people do great things that I wish I could do.

At the end of the day, you have to remember tomorrow. Because you never know what it’ll bring.

With that, see you next year. Hopefully.